I have two semi-neurotic, but firm beliefs:
1. Neosporin heals everything
2. Google solves everything
My latest conundrum involves the levels or categories of dating… I have apparently been in a black box and do not understand what lingo you people are using nowadays.
What is “dating?” The San Francisco court actually defined a dating relationship as "a social relationship between two individuals who have a reciprocally amorous and increasingly exclusive interest in one another, and shared expectation of the growth of that mutual interest, that has endured for such a length of time and stimulated such frequent interactions that the relationship cannot be deemed to have been casual." Ok, that definition helps greatly. Now, what the hell is “talking?” I previously thought this is what teenagers do when they are kind of feeling (not physically) each other out, but I have heard the term used a lot lately. Well, to enlighten myself, I did a little Googling…
I found a competent male’s blog that gave some very explicit definitions:
These Eight Levels of Dating are below, with abridged examples for those of you who are slow.
Level 1: Pre-Dating
This isn’t really dating per se, but rather the initiation of contact. For example: you’re at a friend’s party and see an attractive girl across the room. You ask the host, a mutual friend, who the girl is and once you get the word that she isn’t crazy and hasn’t had sex with any former or current NBA players, you approach.
Level 2: The Explicit Invite Period
Level 2 is merely an extension of Level 1. But in Level 2, everything is more explicit, deliberate, and intentional. You call the girl after a few days to invite her (and her friends) to a bar where you (and your friends) will be hanging out. She agrees to come (and to bring friends).
Level 3: The Weekday Date Period
Dinner or some other date variation on a non-prime night (Sunday through Wednesday; if you can get a Thursday, it’s a good sign). Also, in Level 3, what may have been obvious before is now official: you are courting this girl.
Level 3 is the make or break period. Studies have shown that around 70% of dates do not get past Level 3.
Level 4: The Weekend Date Period
If you’ve made it to Level 4, you’re doing something right. Level 4 means that you are hanging out on a prime night: Friday or Saturday (and possibly Thursday).
Level 5a: The "Yeah, She’s Kinda My Girlfriend" Period
Level 5b: The Weekday Evening Sex Period
Once you successfully get past Level 4, you’re onto Level 5, which is divided into two parts.
This is arguably the best Level, because, well, you pretty much have a girlfriend. It’s still not official yet, but you both know it’s true.
Level 6: The Love Period
Love. Sex. Girlfriend. And at this Level, the notion of having a girlfriend is a great and wonderful thing. You will tell your mom about her, who will sigh in relief. You will take weekend trips where you will lay in bed naked, watching pay-per-view movies, eating pizza, and drinking wine. You will laugh and wonder how this feeling could ever end, because you are stupid with love.
Level 7: The Cracks in the Facade Period
You’re still in love, of course. You worked hard for this relationship and things are still very good between you and the girl.
Level 7: the beginning of the end. Also, the beginning of the rest of your life.
Level 8: Malaise
Routine has taken over. Sex in the kitchen on a Wednesday evening has been replaced by ok take-out food and "The Notebook."
Men and Ovaries, EVIL
"If men could menstruate...clearly, mensturation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much....Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammed Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields - 'For Those Light Bachelor Days.'"
~ Gloria Steinem, U.S. feminist writer, editor.
~ Gloria Steinem, U.S. feminist writer, editor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)