Being the mommy of two fur babies, and a fabulously future (3-5 years in the future) MILF, I am always throwing around in the back of my head the similarities and differences between children and dogs....here are my latest on the list of differences:
Babies do not chew on your shoes! Dear heavens, I hope they do not at least.....think of the germs. My darling stilettos and strappy sandals will be much safer with a bambino than they are with my bully bulldog.
No panties in mouth.......I hope to God my darling children will not dig through the hamper and strut around the house with my bestest thongs in their joules. Nor try to digest these unmentionables and poop them out in a neighbors yard. Yep happened to me! Thong strings in the neighbors yard. Dern Bulldog! Kids do not do this right!?!?
Licking the lotion off your bod: this would be a habit of my littlest one- the chihuahua! If my future babe tries to lick the lotion of my legs, I will be mortified. But with the little rat dog, it is like "Yea! Mama just put crack on her legs! Must get crack fix!"
CRAZINESS! Please do not tell me children do these things....I may be scarred for life!
Witchy Woman
Yes, I have often been accused of being such (mostly by my husband who swears the Eagles song is purely about me!), but this is not a self reflective blog......
Getting into the "spirit" of things, there are some really great "Witchy Women" movies that I love to watch, especially around Halloween:
Practical Magic-Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are some sexy, sassy witches. And their witchy aunts make me laugh....love, love, love this movie!
Aunt Jet Owens: And this is what comes from dabbling; I mean you can't practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it.
Hocus Pocus- Just Fabulous! This came out when I was 7, and It has been a must see every year ever since. Sara Jessica Parker, Bette Middler, and Kathy Najimy are such a funny trio.
Billy Butcherson: Go to hell!
Winifred Sanderson: Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely
The Craft- Gotta be honest, this movie kinda creeps me out. These chicks are hella intense!
Nancy: You know, in the old days, if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her
Teen Witch- Totally 80's movie, the clothes, the hair, the convos.....I love it though! Made me wanna be a teen witch, that's for sure!
Louise Miller: No! I'm rubber YOUR glue whatever YOU call me sticks back on YOU!
Bewitched- The TV show was fabby and I impatiently waited for the movie. I found it rather amusing and quite enjoy the soundtrack! And look: Nicole Kidman again, apparently she plays a good witch!
Isabel Bigelow: I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, no breakfast after 11.
Isabel Bigelow: Oh. [snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55]
Isabel Bigelow: My absolutely last thing!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN Witchy Women (and men)!
Getting into the "spirit" of things, there are some really great "Witchy Women" movies that I love to watch, especially around Halloween:
Practical Magic-Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are some sexy, sassy witches. And their witchy aunts make me laugh....love, love, love this movie!
Aunt Jet Owens: And this is what comes from dabbling; I mean you can't practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it.
Hocus Pocus- Just Fabulous! This came out when I was 7, and It has been a must see every year ever since. Sara Jessica Parker, Bette Middler, and Kathy Najimy are such a funny trio.
Billy Butcherson: Go to hell!
Winifred Sanderson: Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely
The Craft- Gotta be honest, this movie kinda creeps me out. These chicks are hella intense!
Nancy: You know, in the old days, if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her
Teen Witch- Totally 80's movie, the clothes, the hair, the convos.....I love it though! Made me wanna be a teen witch, that's for sure!
Louise Miller: No! I'm rubber YOUR glue whatever YOU call me sticks back on YOU!
Bewitched- The TV show was fabby and I impatiently waited for the movie. I found it rather amusing and quite enjoy the soundtrack! And look: Nicole Kidman again, apparently she plays a good witch!
Isabel Bigelow: I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, no breakfast after 11.
Isabel Bigelow: Oh. [snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55]
Isabel Bigelow: My absolutely last thing!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN Witchy Women (and men)!
Burn baby Burn
Let me make my general statement: I am a proud and generally supportive fire fighter's wife.
BUT, GEEZ.......there are fires in California. And....that is like saying there is ice in the arctic, bad teeth in Britain, mullets at the Wal-mart (for you Black Betty). We have come to expect these things and know them as the truth. Me so tired of seeing the same images of the smoke and same people talking about how happy they are that they have their pictures.....It is a repetitive repeation of not so new news. I am concerned about mankind and our four legged-friends. Really, I'm not totally heartless about the situation. If my house or pups were threatened by the flame, I would be a wreckage of emotions. Fires scare the candy corn out of me, honestly, but I am pleading with the media here....... When something new happens, please, by all means- let me know! Keep me abreast of the progress....Just stop showing me the same dern burnt cookie cutter houses, rescued horses in El Cajon, and smackety packed full shelters. I've seen them all twelve times in this 30 minute news session. By now I have their faces memorized as well as my own, we are BFF's!
Stop watching you say?....It is plastered 24/7....on every channel.....in every home and resturant....continuously ........ burn baby burn.......I have turned off my TV.......Let me know when CNN goes back to reporting on which celeb is most recently flashing their merry-go-round or which boxer dresses in drag......hmmmmph
BUT, GEEZ.......there are fires in California. And....that is like saying there is ice in the arctic, bad teeth in Britain, mullets at the Wal-mart (for you Black Betty). We have come to expect these things and know them as the truth. Me so tired of seeing the same images of the smoke and same people talking about how happy they are that they have their pictures.....It is a repetitive repeation of not so new news. I am concerned about mankind and our four legged-friends. Really, I'm not totally heartless about the situation. If my house or pups were threatened by the flame, I would be a wreckage of emotions. Fires scare the candy corn out of me, honestly, but I am pleading with the media here....... When something new happens, please, by all means- let me know! Keep me abreast of the progress....Just stop showing me the same dern burnt cookie cutter houses, rescued horses in El Cajon, and smackety packed full shelters. I've seen them all twelve times in this 30 minute news session. By now I have their faces memorized as well as my own, we are BFF's!
Stop watching you say?....It is plastered 24/7....on every channel.....in every home and resturant....continuously ........ burn baby burn.......I have turned off my TV.......Let me know when CNN goes back to reporting on which celeb is most recently flashing their merry-go-round or which boxer dresses in drag......hmmmmph
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