I do not know all of the little tips and tricks in dealing with your kid. If they will not stop screaming at the top of their lungs and swatting at me, do not question me if their diaper is on backwards, at least I got the damn thing on at all!
I do not fully grasp the planning it takes just to leave the house. Bag, bottle, stroller, blanket, the mechanics of a car seat, etc….. I just leave! Do not down me for the simplicities in my life, you were there once.
I do not fully understand how hard it is to get a babysitter. I have dogs. They have a cage. For extended occasions, I call the vet to reserve a kennel to board them…. One call, that’s all! I will be glad to help you out when I can, though my seemingly flexible schedule does not make me a built in babysitter. Just know if I do keep your kid and you do not provide explicit directions I can not be held responsible for disruptions to their schedule. No payment is necessary; reinforcing my memory with the importance of taking my birth control is payment enough!
Please do not call me at 7:00 am on a Saturday morning. My non-existent child has not stuck their fingers up my nose to wake me, I am still sound asleep.
With all of this noted, I am not completely useless nor am I anti-child. I love them. I just have a lot of motherly instinct to discover and practice makes perfect so exposure to children is positive. And just because I do not have a child does not mean I am not game for outings with kids. I have observed that in a group of friends the one(s) without children often get left out of some loops. I will still come to your kid’s birthday party. I will bring a gift that will make terrible loud sounds and become their favorite causing you to resent me for a while, but I would still come and it would be wonderful to be included for once. Mommies too often gang together and then only turn to us single girls when they need to get out and get a drink. It’s a shame, it makes us feel very separated and it’s time to start calling you out on it.
girl...i'll drink with the babe on my hip...in the bar. let's roll!!! LOL!!! (you brought a baby...to a bar?...hell yeah!) :D
so, you wanna babysit anytime soon?!?!?
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JUST KIDDING!!!!
November 21, 2008 at 10:35 AM
wanna keep jude?????
:)
November 21, 2008 at 11:27 AM
BB- love the Sweet Home Alabama reference! I can see this!
Mrs. Misenar- I am not so good with the red headed boys, but I would always give it another shot! lol!
November 21, 2008 at 11:32 AM