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I am not a mother yet.
I do not know all of the little tips and tricks in dealing with your kid. If they will not stop screaming at the top of their lungs and swatting at me, do not question me if their diaper is on backwards, at least I got the damn thing on at all!
I do not fully grasp the planning it takes just to leave the house. Bag, bottle, stroller, blanket, the mechanics of a car seat, etc….. I just leave! Do not down me for the simplicities in my life, you were there once.
I do not fully understand how hard it is to get a babysitter. I have dogs. They have a cage. For extended occasions, I call the vet to reserve a kennel to board them…. One call, that’s all! I will be glad to help you out when I can, though my seemingly flexible schedule does not make me a built in babysitter. Just know if I do keep your kid and you do not provide explicit directions I can not be held responsible for disruptions to their schedule. No payment is necessary; reinforcing my memory with the importance of taking my birth control is payment enough!
Please do not call me at 7:00 am on a Saturday morning. My non-existent child has not stuck their fingers up my nose to wake me, I am still sound asleep.
With all of this noted, I am not completely useless nor am I anti-child. I love them. I just have a lot of motherly instinct to discover and practice makes perfect so exposure to children is positive. And just because I do not have a child does not mean I am not game for outings with kids. I have observed that in a group of friends the one(s) without children often get left out of some loops. I will still come to your kid’s birthday party. I will bring a gift that will make terrible loud sounds and become their favorite causing you to resent me for a while, but I would still come and it would be wonderful to be included for once. Mommies too often gang together and then only turn to us single girls when they need to get out and get a drink. It’s a shame, it makes us feel very separated and it’s time to start calling you out on it.
Isn't is a shame when you feel the need to mask or minimize your happiness because you just don't feel like those people closest to you will react with the same enthusiasm. There are some lyrics from Chicago, The Musical that make me laugh because I honestly think this is how some people in my life portray me at times:I know a girl -A girl who lands on top You could put her face into a pail of slopAnd she'd come up smelling like a rose How she does it, heaven knows. I know a girl -A girl with so much luck She could get run over by a ten-ton truck Then brush herself off and walk away How she does it, couldn't say I, On the other hand Put my face in a pail of slop And I would smell like a pail of slop I, On the other hand Get run over by a truck And I am deader that a duck I know which friend to call when great things happen for me. She will be just as excited for me as if it were her own success. This is a great quality, because really at that level of friendship she finds happiness from my happiness. Even when she is having an "I hate everyone" or "need more wine" kind of day, I always feel uplifted after I share with her and appreciate her support.On the other hand, there are those people you can feel equally as close to on certain levels, but you know your happiness may just make them sick because they can not look past their own hurdles long enough to offer congratulations. These are the people I have learned to just casually mention positive events to in conversation..... not ever the first person I call because I am worried I will come off as bragging and my level of positivity may be squashed. After time, you feel much closer to the people who are initially happy for you because they wind up knowing so much more about you. The other people really miss out on what is going on in your life because they only get the Cliff's Notes version. Anyway, exciting things are happening for me and those supportive people already know, and those others might realize it when they read it here on their own time...
I am such a wordy, descriptive person.
This is my challenge: describing so many things with only one word!
1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your pet(s)? heathens
3. Your hair? curly
4. Your mother? loving
5. Your father? funny
7. Your dream last night? forgot
8. Your favorite drink? wine
9. Your dream/goal? success
10. The room you're in? office
11. Your fear? betrayal
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? mommy
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? tall
15. beans, beans, and more beans: mexican
16. One of your wish list items? diamond
17.Where you grew up? everywhere
18. The last thing you did? text
19. What are you wearing? boots
20. Your TV? flat
21. Your car? paid!
22. your computer? uncooperative
23. Your life? blessed
24. Your mood? complacent
25. Missing someone? him
26. Favorite pastime? dancing
27. Something you're not wearing? make-up
28. Favorite Store? Target
29. Your summer? interesting
30. Your favorite color? hmmmm
31. When is the last time you laughed? earlier
32. Last time you cried? week
It seems like everybody I have talked to recently is not having a smooth week relationship wise, maybe it is something with the moon.... anyway various conversations have sparked more inquiries on my part...I guess people are just used to what they grew up seeing. My parents have always shared everything (except minor details like the actual cost of my first wedding, etc.). And like I said it may just be because that is how I grew up, but I think when you share a life together, then you should really share anything and everything in your life together. There is no "yours" or "mine," there is simply "ours."It seems it probably used to be much more simple: when you got married, you combined everything. In these changing times, people are living together far before marriage. What are the rules for combining things if you are just "shacking up?" And there are so many other issues that our parents never had to deal with, like in their days they didn't have to discuss odd technological privacy's like sharing myspace or e-mail account passwords.... do you merge these things along with everything else? Or is that a complete invasion of self and one thing that will eternally remain "mine?"Also, I hear of more and more couples today having separate bank accounts from their spouse. You get married and "two bodies become one flesh," but your money doesn't mix? I just can't wrap my head around that. Maybe it is just easier because you live with the person for so long under those conditions that it just stays that way after the vows?My ultimate question is what does it mean in these modern times to truly "share a life together?"
I love when the weather matches my mood, cloudy fits right now.I despise when ex's are an issue for anyone (obviously from my last blog).I enjoy walking through the leaves in the fall, and doing so on my way into work was the highlight of my morning.I do not know why I ever try to start out my day without caffeine in hand. I am glad those drivers did not hear the obscenities I yelled at them from my car. I will come to terms with the fact that I can not solve the world's problems- somtimes not even my own- by myself.I wish my hair would coopereate when it is rainy, or any time for that matter.I hope my attitude and motivation improve.
There are some people out there that you are just bound not to get along with. It happens... not all personalities mesh, and you do not always have to appreciate every one's company.
THEN there are those people that you despise because of a third parties actions regarding that person. This is not by any means the way to be, but again- it happens! For example in high school I absolutely despised a girl for years --for the purpose of this rant we will name her Kristen. When my then boyfriend and I had broken up he told me he started keeping the company of this particular girl, Kristen. I wanted to step on her pale face with my stilettos and chop off what was left of her horrible hair cut. I had (have) the slightest of a jealous bone. Eventually the guy and I started dating again. He and Kristen never panned out to much, but she was still very much in his circle of friends and I did not appreciate this at all. I made it known that I was a tid bit uncomfortable with the situation. Much later at a gathering that we all happened to be at, with me by his side(!!!!!), Kristen came up to my guy and said "Why don't you ever call anymore?" I could have spit lava. Long story short, Kristen was the little sister of my guy's good friend. They were nothing. Ever. She was actually dating someone else at the time we were apart and he was using her name to make me jealous. Though still a stupid skank move on her part, she was inquiring why my guy never called her house, aka her brother, anymore. I had despised this girl for so long and cursed her name and she never even realized it or knew why. Turns out our personalities really would not have meshed well in the first place, BUT it was my guys fault for creating this tension in the first place and it was his place to own up to it.
Very 'high school' I know, but issues like this still occur in the grown up world. Example: If you are dating someone and they fail to mention your relationship to a friend that happens to be an ex because it may hurt their feelings, the ex ends up getting the brunt of your hatred even though it is not their issue at all. Any hope of the new flame having any amount of respect for the ex has gone out the window replaced with ill will and the ex ultimately had nothing to do with the situation. Furthermore, in attempting to avoid hurting your ex's feelings you have crushed your current companions and crushed any chance that further down the road you will be able to maintain any type of communication with the ex without causing serious friction. If the ex calls or texts, they are really innocent because they do not know there is someone else in the picture and they do not realize that they are causing issues. All the while, your ex that you were on good terms with has no idea why you have had to cut off ties.... There comes a point where you have to make the decision whether or not to own up to it all. You created this situation and tension. If you still do not want to own up to the relationship to the ex, then you shouldn't be in it! If you want to cut any tension with the new flame, you tell the ex that you have indeed been in the relationship since [insert actual time here!]... and you apologize to both parties for your failure to own up to the situation in the first place!
Just a suggestion, but it really seems simple doesn't it?
My hair is always a mess even when I spend half an hour straightening it, I am habitually late, innocently forgetful, I trip over myself-the sidewalk-and anything else in my path, I spill things, and from all of this I have come to terms with the fact that I am a beautiful wreck.I have coined the phrase "polished" to describe those women that seem to have it all together. They are always on time, dressed to perfection, always accessorised, not a hair out of place. I often despise these women, even more so on particularly spastic days. It occurred to me the other day though through various conversations I have recently had with good friends and others in passing, that these women I envy for being "polished" often recipricate envy for my seemingly non-chalant attitude. I am not trapped in a mold I have created for myself and the fact that I nearly always throw my hair in a messy bun and show up to work 12 minutes late everyday is seen as my personal freedom.Another realization: I have noticed on the days that I am not spazzing out and do have it more together than usual I apprear polished to other spastic women and I do not give myself credit for my "polishing!"These self-acceptance epiphany's are fabulous!
