Being the mommy of two fur babies, and a fabulously future (3-5 years in the future) MILF, I am always throwing around in the back of my head the similarities and differences between children and dogs....here are my latest on the list of differences:
Babies do not chew on your shoes! Dear heavens, I hope they do not at least.....think of the germs. My darling stilettos and strappy sandals will be much safer with a bambino than they are with my bully bulldog.
No panties in mouth.......I hope to God my darling children will not dig through the hamper and strut around the house with my bestest thongs in their joules. Nor try to digest these unmentionables and poop them out in a neighbors yard. Yep happened to me! Thong strings in the neighbors yard. Dern Bulldog! Kids do not do this right!?!?
Licking the lotion off your bod: this would be a habit of my littlest one- the chihuahua! If my future babe tries to lick the lotion of my legs, I will be mortified. But with the little rat dog, it is like "Yea! Mama just put crack on her legs! Must get crack fix!"
CRAZINESS! Please do not tell me children do these things....I may be scarred for life!
Witchy Woman
Yes, I have often been accused of being such (mostly by my husband who swears the Eagles song is purely about me!), but this is not a self reflective blog......
Getting into the "spirit" of things, there are some really great "Witchy Women" movies that I love to watch, especially around Halloween:
Practical Magic-Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are some sexy, sassy witches. And their witchy aunts make me laugh....love, love, love this movie!
Aunt Jet Owens: And this is what comes from dabbling; I mean you can't practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it.
Hocus Pocus- Just Fabulous! This came out when I was 7, and It has been a must see every year ever since. Sara Jessica Parker, Bette Middler, and Kathy Najimy are such a funny trio.
Billy Butcherson: Go to hell!
Winifred Sanderson: Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely
The Craft- Gotta be honest, this movie kinda creeps me out. These chicks are hella intense!
Nancy: You know, in the old days, if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her
Teen Witch- Totally 80's movie, the clothes, the hair, the convos.....I love it though! Made me wanna be a teen witch, that's for sure!
Louise Miller: No! I'm rubber YOUR glue whatever YOU call me sticks back on YOU!
Bewitched- The TV show was fabby and I impatiently waited for the movie. I found it rather amusing and quite enjoy the soundtrack! And look: Nicole Kidman again, apparently she plays a good witch!
Isabel Bigelow: I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, no breakfast after 11.
Isabel Bigelow: Oh. [snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55]
Isabel Bigelow: My absolutely last thing!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN Witchy Women (and men)!
Getting into the "spirit" of things, there are some really great "Witchy Women" movies that I love to watch, especially around Halloween:
Practical Magic-Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are some sexy, sassy witches. And their witchy aunts make me laugh....love, love, love this movie!
Aunt Jet Owens: And this is what comes from dabbling; I mean you can't practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it.
Hocus Pocus- Just Fabulous! This came out when I was 7, and It has been a must see every year ever since. Sara Jessica Parker, Bette Middler, and Kathy Najimy are such a funny trio.
Billy Butcherson: Go to hell!
Winifred Sanderson: Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely
The Craft- Gotta be honest, this movie kinda creeps me out. These chicks are hella intense!
Nancy: You know, in the old days, if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her
Teen Witch- Totally 80's movie, the clothes, the hair, the convos.....I love it though! Made me wanna be a teen witch, that's for sure!
Louise Miller: No! I'm rubber YOUR glue whatever YOU call me sticks back on YOU!
Bewitched- The TV show was fabby and I impatiently waited for the movie. I found it rather amusing and quite enjoy the soundtrack! And look: Nicole Kidman again, apparently she plays a good witch!
Isabel Bigelow: I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, no breakfast after 11.
Isabel Bigelow: Oh. [snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55]
Isabel Bigelow: My absolutely last thing!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN Witchy Women (and men)!
Burn baby Burn
Let me make my general statement: I am a proud and generally supportive fire fighter's wife.
BUT, GEEZ.......there are fires in California. And....that is like saying there is ice in the arctic, bad teeth in Britain, mullets at the Wal-mart (for you Black Betty). We have come to expect these things and know them as the truth. Me so tired of seeing the same images of the smoke and same people talking about how happy they are that they have their pictures.....It is a repetitive repeation of not so new news. I am concerned about mankind and our four legged-friends. Really, I'm not totally heartless about the situation. If my house or pups were threatened by the flame, I would be a wreckage of emotions. Fires scare the candy corn out of me, honestly, but I am pleading with the media here....... When something new happens, please, by all means- let me know! Keep me abreast of the progress....Just stop showing me the same dern burnt cookie cutter houses, rescued horses in El Cajon, and smackety packed full shelters. I've seen them all twelve times in this 30 minute news session. By now I have their faces memorized as well as my own, we are BFF's!
Stop watching you say?....It is plastered 24/7....on every channel.....in every home and resturant....continuously ........ burn baby burn.......I have turned off my TV.......Let me know when CNN goes back to reporting on which celeb is most recently flashing their merry-go-round or which boxer dresses in drag......hmmmmph
BUT, GEEZ.......there are fires in California. And....that is like saying there is ice in the arctic, bad teeth in Britain, mullets at the Wal-mart (for you Black Betty). We have come to expect these things and know them as the truth. Me so tired of seeing the same images of the smoke and same people talking about how happy they are that they have their pictures.....It is a repetitive repeation of not so new news. I am concerned about mankind and our four legged-friends. Really, I'm not totally heartless about the situation. If my house or pups were threatened by the flame, I would be a wreckage of emotions. Fires scare the candy corn out of me, honestly, but I am pleading with the media here....... When something new happens, please, by all means- let me know! Keep me abreast of the progress....Just stop showing me the same dern burnt cookie cutter houses, rescued horses in El Cajon, and smackety packed full shelters. I've seen them all twelve times in this 30 minute news session. By now I have their faces memorized as well as my own, we are BFF's!
Stop watching you say?....It is plastered 24/7....on every channel.....in every home and resturant....continuously ........ burn baby burn.......I have turned off my TV.......Let me know when CNN goes back to reporting on which celeb is most recently flashing their merry-go-round or which boxer dresses in drag......hmmmmph
Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste. ~Brecht
Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste. ~Brecht
My sister-in-law goes into labor 5 1/2 weeks early....we get in the car bright and early to rush to be with family.....rush...grab jeans, grab shirt, put dogs up......ugh black shirt- now black shirt with lots of dog hair...whatever....rush....no time to straighten hair....frizz.....see the whole family to celebrate new birth, but probably look like death......
Husband's grandfather on his last days....rush to drive to be with him.....rush home from work...throw clothes in bag....what on earth did I pack to wear?.....Oh, don't forget medicine- and tissues-have sinus issues causing lovely red eyes, hence the lack of eye make-up...live in Mississippi= humidity= more hair frizz....rush....kinda sweaty now...really should change...not feeling my best physically, and a tad emotional on top of that...Ugh- am I about to start, too?...try not to get car sick....barf breath is ultimately unattractive....
I find myself concerned that the past few family gatherings, though both very impromptu, I have not looked or felt my best. But the moral of the story is: Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste. My presence at both occasions was far more important than my appearance. When we all look back nobody will remember that I was frizzy and laced with dog hair...but that we were all there together...not judging but leaning together.....
My sister-in-law goes into labor 5 1/2 weeks early....we get in the car bright and early to rush to be with family.....rush...grab jeans, grab shirt, put dogs up......ugh black shirt- now black shirt with lots of dog hair...whatever....rush....no time to straighten hair....frizz.....see the whole family to celebrate new birth, but probably look like death......
Husband's grandfather on his last days....rush to drive to be with him.....rush home from work...throw clothes in bag....what on earth did I pack to wear?.....Oh, don't forget medicine- and tissues-have sinus issues causing lovely red eyes, hence the lack of eye make-up...live in Mississippi= humidity= more hair frizz....rush....kinda sweaty now...really should change...not feeling my best physically, and a tad emotional on top of that...Ugh- am I about to start, too?...try not to get car sick....barf breath is ultimately unattractive....
I find myself concerned that the past few family gatherings, though both very impromptu, I have not looked or felt my best. But the moral of the story is: Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste. My presence at both occasions was far more important than my appearance. When we all look back nobody will remember that I was frizzy and laced with dog hair...but that we were all there together...not judging but leaning together.....
A Woman Should Read this Poem
By Maya Angelou
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...enough money within her control to move outand rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
..a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
.....a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
....a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...how to fall in love without losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.
..how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...that she can't change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...whom she can trust, whom she can't,and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table...or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...
........Graceful Streeters, I am curious to know what you think every woman should have or know........
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...enough money within her control to move outand rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
..a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
.....a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
....a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...how to fall in love without losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.
..how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...that she can't change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...whom she can trust, whom she can't,and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table...or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
...what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...
........Graceful Streeters, I am curious to know what you think every woman should have or know........
Well, “little miss-priss” got a tattoo!
I don’t recollect how I felt about tattoos as I was younger. My grandfather had some from the navy- but that is what they did, and my female cousin, that I adore, has had a couple for a while. But, when my husband told me several years ago he wanted one, my only thought was “But what will our future kids’ friends’ parents think about us?” As if it would shoot us to a different class of people and change our personalities.
Well, “little miss-priss” got a tattoo!
However, I am a complex individual, and being the “me” that I am, I did a lot of thinking and a little consulting with those whose opinions I valued prior to the deed…. Mommy said- whatever you want to do, you are a big girl. Daddy said- you haven’t done too many stupid things in your life, if you need this one thing to feel like a rebel then so be it. I also sought anything from the bible. I know the body is a temple, but I am not going to be hypocritical enough to dye my hair, get fake nails, wear make-up and tan, and think a tattoo is defacing.
It was a personal choice and I went with. And, I am pleasantly surprised how many people I know have one/some too…. It is art.
So my husband and I have been inked for about 8 months and are still feeling good about it. My tattoo is on the top of my right, about the size of a dollar coin. It can be easily covered by shoes when professionalism is necessary, but oh so adorable with a strappy pair of sandals or pumps!
It seems that the days when tattoos were only for sailors and biker babes are gone. Today they have become pretty trendy…I will take no offense….What are your views on tattoos?
Well, “little miss-priss” got a tattoo!
However, I am a complex individual, and being the “me” that I am, I did a lot of thinking and a little consulting with those whose opinions I valued prior to the deed…. Mommy said- whatever you want to do, you are a big girl. Daddy said- you haven’t done too many stupid things in your life, if you need this one thing to feel like a rebel then so be it. I also sought anything from the bible. I know the body is a temple, but I am not going to be hypocritical enough to dye my hair, get fake nails, wear make-up and tan, and think a tattoo is defacing.
It was a personal choice and I went with. And, I am pleasantly surprised how many people I know have one/some too…. It is art.
So my husband and I have been inked for about 8 months and are still feeling good about it. My tattoo is on the top of my right, about the size of a dollar coin. It can be easily covered by shoes when professionalism is necessary, but oh so adorable with a strappy pair of sandals or pumps!
It seems that the days when tattoos were only for sailors and biker babes are gone. Today they have become pretty trendy…I will take no offense….What are your views on tattoos?
RIP Mr. Marc Kitty
Please let me begin by saying, I love animals. Love them! But incidents happen...and it is always good to have a friend there to support you through those incidents.......
This weekend at the very beginning of our "Girls Night Out," a black kitty kitty runs, NO, darts out in front of my car. This is a fairly quiet road now- nobody within sight in front of me, nobody behind.....the road was clear except for us, SO this damn feline was using me and my Ford to end his life! I tried my best to not aid this suicidal kitty...really I did all I could do......
Swerve-Bu-Bump. Urgghhhh. I was mortified. I AM NOT A CAT KILLER! (But I sort of am.) My gal pal had only been in the car with me for half of a minute and I have already committed cat-slaughter with my automobile. So many things going through my head.......JUST MORTIFIED! I said "I didn't mean to...OMG.....I am not a bad person...I can not believe I ran over him.....I promise." I stopped the car, looked back, and wishfully asked, "Is he getting up?" She consoled me and insisted there was nothing I could do. Pointed out it was dusk and he was black. She said that at least he was no longer a starving stray. She put a silver lining to the situation. Though tragic, It was not going to completely damper the evening. I thanked her. She explained that is what friends are for......ahhhh. Love me some friends- without her I probably would have teared up beyond vision and hit who knows what the rest of the way home.
We decided that since we were on Marquette Road, we would name the kitty Marc. -----RIP Marc-----
We shall honor him with a drink and verbal memorial: Mr. Marc Kitty, You were a dear cat with sleek legs and good taste in cars......sigh.
This weekend at the very beginning of our "Girls Night Out," a black kitty kitty runs, NO, darts out in front of my car. This is a fairly quiet road now- nobody within sight in front of me, nobody behind.....the road was clear except for us, SO this damn feline was using me and my Ford to end his life! I tried my best to not aid this suicidal kitty...really I did all I could do......
Swerve-Bu-Bump. Urgghhhh. I was mortified. I AM NOT A CAT KILLER! (But I sort of am.) My gal pal had only been in the car with me for half of a minute and I have already committed cat-slaughter with my automobile. So many things going through my head.......JUST MORTIFIED! I said "I didn't mean to...OMG.....I am not a bad person...I can not believe I ran over him.....I promise." I stopped the car, looked back, and wishfully asked, "Is he getting up?" She consoled me and insisted there was nothing I could do. Pointed out it was dusk and he was black. She said that at least he was no longer a starving stray. She put a silver lining to the situation. Though tragic, It was not going to completely damper the evening. I thanked her. She explained that is what friends are for......ahhhh. Love me some friends- without her I probably would have teared up beyond vision and hit who knows what the rest of the way home.
We decided that since we were on Marquette Road, we would name the kitty Marc. -----RIP Marc-----
We shall honor him with a drink and verbal memorial: Mr. Marc Kitty, You were a dear cat with sleek legs and good taste in cars......sigh.
The car is no place for religious advertising....
I love me some Jesus, yet have my faults as all other Christians, and everyone else for that matter.....I am here to openly admit I have a tid tad tiny little speck of road rage. Aware of this, I am not about to promote my Christianity via my car, because I promise you- I am going to cut you off if you will not let me over and I will stare your crazy self down if you are acting as if you got your drivers licence from a cracker jack box- and I do not want you to hold my Lord accountable for my automobile actions.
The little Christan fish on the back of peoples cars, look for them.....those are the first people to screw you over on the interstate -and I think it is such bad advertising.
If you are a christian and you are proud of it- more power to you! But if you can not act in this capacity, "be christian in the car", then rethink the little fish, the crown of thorns decal, and the "My father is a Jewish Carpenter" bumper sticker, because if you are a selfish driver than you are not bringing much light to the world. I am proud of my faith- but I am not about to put the weight of the religion on my driving skills and have people judge it based on my impatience to yield to someone going slower than molasses.
Is this road rage thing something I am working on? Yes. I will not flip you off, even if you truly have gone above and beyond to deserve it, I have grown from that. I do pray for patience on a daily basis. But my patience is also tested on a daily basis.....usually between I-20 and 55. I stumble with my thoughts and I stumble with my words. I do not want to make you stumble even further with your thoughts because I pissed you off AND I have that little fish on my car.
WWJD? Probably Walk!
The little Christan fish on the back of peoples cars, look for them.....those are the first people to screw you over on the interstate -and I think it is such bad advertising.
If you are a christian and you are proud of it- more power to you! But if you can not act in this capacity, "be christian in the car", then rethink the little fish, the crown of thorns decal, and the "My father is a Jewish Carpenter" bumper sticker, because if you are a selfish driver than you are not bringing much light to the world. I am proud of my faith- but I am not about to put the weight of the religion on my driving skills and have people judge it based on my impatience to yield to someone going slower than molasses.
Is this road rage thing something I am working on? Yes. I will not flip you off, even if you truly have gone above and beyond to deserve it, I have grown from that. I do pray for patience on a daily basis. But my patience is also tested on a daily basis.....usually between I-20 and 55. I stumble with my thoughts and I stumble with my words. I do not want to make you stumble even further with your thoughts because I pissed you off AND I have that little fish on my car.
WWJD? Probably Walk!
I have a date most mornings in front of the vending machine with Mrs. Freshlys for her infamous Jumbo HoneyBun. My $0.75 morning treat. Heat up for 15 seconds, and it is a gooey goodness that can set your day off right. I get dirty looks as I consume this tasty treat in 2 minutes flat, with little regard for what it may be doing to my insides. I work with doctors; they warn me it is no good….but I ask inquisitively, have you had one lately….. ‘Tis Delish! Ok, so it has 580 calories, 43% of the daily value for total fat (28 grams), and 62% of the daily value for saturated fat. There is also 380 mg of sodium and 39 grams of sugars. I may die of clogged arties, but it brings me a smile. We will all make our own selections in life and I shall delight in my own personal vice- the bun. So Back up, and back off- or its gonna get sticky in here…
"I'm in a hurry and don't know why"
I associate myself with the word “chaos” as much as I do with my first name….I am chaos, but really, I create it for myself. I let myself get stressed, even though I know that it is not healthy, and I should not “sweat the small stuff.” –Obviously I need to read the book with the similar title. But It also really depends on what we value as the “small stuff,” if everything is an event for us then it is ok to seat it, huh?
Anyway, I have been trying to relax. I have been in my new job for almost 3 months and it is a joy. They put little to no pressure on me, and have commented on the pressure I put on myself. I am not used to this calm environment at all, and am attempting to not be so high strung. The following two songs from fabulous country radio are my current anthems for this feat:
Artist: Chesney Kenny
Song: Don't Blink
Album: Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates
I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."
--Chorus--
Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth
--Chorus--
So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
I've been tryin' ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in
--Chorus--
Naw, don't blink
Life Goes Faster Than You Think
Don't Blink...
Artist: Alabama
Song: I'm In A Hurry (And Don't Know Why)
Album: American Pride
--Chorus--
I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why
Don't know why I have to drive so fast
My car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll do zero to sixty in five point two
--Chorus--
Can't be late,
I leave in plenty of time
Shakin' hands with the clock
I can't stop
I'm on a roll and I'm ready to rock
--Chorus--
Oh, I hear a voice
That says I'm running behind
Better pick up my pace
It's a race
and there ain't no room for someone in second place
Anyway, I have been trying to relax. I have been in my new job for almost 3 months and it is a joy. They put little to no pressure on me, and have commented on the pressure I put on myself. I am not used to this calm environment at all, and am attempting to not be so high strung. The following two songs from fabulous country radio are my current anthems for this feat:
Artist: Chesney Kenny
Song: Don't Blink
Album: Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates
I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."
--Chorus--
Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth
--Chorus--
So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
I've been tryin' ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in
--Chorus--
Naw, don't blink
Life Goes Faster Than You Think
Don't Blink...
Artist: Alabama
Song: I'm In A Hurry (And Don't Know Why)
Album: American Pride
--Chorus--
I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why
Don't know why I have to drive so fast
My car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll do zero to sixty in five point two
--Chorus--
Can't be late,
I leave in plenty of time
Shakin' hands with the clock
I can't stop
I'm on a roll and I'm ready to rock
--Chorus--
Oh, I hear a voice
That says I'm running behind
Better pick up my pace
It's a race
and there ain't no room for someone in second place
What those "sandwich artists" are thinking....
Have you ever wondered what the hell is going through the minds of the employees at your local Subway? And ever noticed that they can never manage to cut the loaf of bread in even halves? No, if you order a six inch sandwich, there is always a wimpy half and a clearly larger half. Hmmm. Is there some subconcious reason for this mishap? I think so.......
I have used my keen ability to read these people and have finally determined that there are two different mind sets to these so called "sandwich artists." Please consider these observations:
(1) The smaller half giver is either thinking: "You are a skinny hoe, and probably will not eat this anyway!" -OR- "You really do not need to be eating at all, so this is all you get tubbers!
(2) The larger half giver is either thinking: "Biotch you need to go sit in the corner and eat, so eat this, ALL this!" -OR- "Better not be stingy with this mo fo or they may crawl across this counter and eat ME."
Harsh, huh? I do not know why these sandwich artists are so judgemental, but this prejudice goes on every day at a chain near you so take notice. But, we can solve all of the world's problems by urging loaves be cut in equal halves! Please do your part!
I have used my keen ability to read these people and have finally determined that there are two different mind sets to these so called "sandwich artists." Please consider these observations:
(1) The smaller half giver is either thinking: "You are a skinny hoe, and probably will not eat this anyway!" -OR- "You really do not need to be eating at all, so this is all you get tubbers!
(2) The larger half giver is either thinking: "Biotch you need to go sit in the corner and eat, so eat this, ALL this!" -OR- "Better not be stingy with this mo fo or they may crawl across this counter and eat ME."
Harsh, huh? I do not know why these sandwich artists are so judgemental, but this prejudice goes on every day at a chain near you so take notice. But, we can solve all of the world's problems by urging loaves be cut in equal halves! Please do your part!
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