.

The Bangles said it, "It's just another manic Monday....!"

I actually made it to work on time this morning, quite proud of myself to get a fresh start. Started out fairly efficiently but about 30 minutes in, I was discussing upcoming meetings and receptions with my boss and decided I wasn't completely "there."

Caffeine deprivation, oncoming headache.

My instant solution: chugging a 20 oz. Dr. Pepper. I do not often resort to this method, but I have a lot going on and wasn't really feeling the coffee this a.m.

I WILL NEVER RESORT TO THIS METHOD AT WORK AGAIN!!!!! EVER!

Belch, excuse myself. Belch, apologize.

Belch, explain myself. Belch, Ugh.

Wrath
Who did you last get angry with? the person i married
What is your weapon of choice? taser
Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? quite often
How about the same sex? not the pretty ones
Who was the last person who got really angry at you? the person i married
What is your pet peeve? Hypocracy
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I keep score, we will leave it at that...

Sloth
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't? laundry...
What is the latest you've ever woken up? 4:00 pm
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? Good friend Annie
What is the last lame excuse that you made? I have a headache
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Yes! I love the Proactive commercials!
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this
morning? Twice

Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Appletini
Are you a meat eater? Yes, a selective on though.
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one
sitting/outing/event? 1 appletini, 1 bloody marry, 2 sex on the beach's, 2 shots of irish whisky
Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits? I will die of a salt overdose....
Do you enjoy candy and sweets? Depends....
Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? SALT!
Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
Honestly, yes. But hear me out..... I wasnt allowed to eat for a day before a medical procedure... and my cats were just hanging around.... I thought "Just add soy sauce!?!?!"

Greed
How many credit cards do you own? Various store specific cards....
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? Charity, bless friends and family, keep enough to live comfortably...
Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich, wouldn't mind. Famous if only for a positive reason.
Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks? Ummmmm depends on the boss.

Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of? Graduated highschool a year early w/ honors
What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of? Moved up the ladder at work
What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life? Obvious wisdom
Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Only if I truly deserved First.
Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Probably....
Have you ever cheated to get a better score? Hmmmmmm. I was resourceful.
What did you do today that you're proud of? Helped some students....

Lust
How many people have you seen naked (excluding film, family, strippers,
locker rooms)? I was a ballerina, I have seen far more back-stage nudity thatn I know what to do with....
How many people have seen you naked (excluding physicians, doctors,
family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)? I didn't have time for modesty backstage....
Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of
your chosen sex during a normal conversation? Bwahahaha. Ummm, I'm sure.
What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice? Have no idea why, I like strong hands
Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons? I have a halo!
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? No, but by the manager of Hooters!?!? Oddly enough.

Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Any of them w/ a new car!
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Miss Mud Puddle, trust her taste
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be? Dr. Whitney!!
Have you ever been cheated on?
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? BOOBS!
What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Patience
What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often? Gluttony
Do you do the least often? Envy
Is your favorite to act on? Sloth, very easy to "act" on

-41 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

Walking in a little frizzy and a little frazzled this morning, I contemplated that coming to work with soaking wet hair could say a variety of things about me:


(1) I woke up a little late

(2) My hair dryer needs to be located

(3) "Ain't nobody dope as me I'm dressed so fresh so clean --So fresh and so clean clean"

(4) I was too drunk or lazy to take a shower last night

(5) I got caught in my own personal rain storm (it could have only rained on ME!)



Now I have plugged my hair straightener in under my desk and am waiting for it to heat to the proper temperature it needs to be to fix this rats nest and save the day!

My fabulous friend and I were winding down from work one afternoon, partaking in a glass of wine and watching a popular talk show.... the topic revolved around what men really think.


Some of the subjects were rather humorous (especially after wine), some were a little insightful/eye opening, some just plain truth, and some made me despise the gender as a whole.


There was one conversation on the show that I have not been able to stop thinking about since though. An expert stated that: "Men see women walking down the street and immediately categorize them in only two categories really- would sleep with or wouldn't sleep with."




(Rorie steps on her super tall soap box)

Ughh. Really? This is one of those things that makes me lump all men into one category: DOG! I do not personally enjoy being eye raped, and do not appreciate the thought of my boy toy eye raping another! I have been told, "Guys are just guys, they do that." Well, out of respect for any women you may or may not be actually sleeping with, how's about you lay off the categorizing or forfeit getting laid at all!


(Rorie hops off of her soapbox)


Just my thoughts.... feeling like a little femi-nazi today. But, seriously guys..... really?

Regis & Kelly’s High Heel-A-Thon On July 9 To Benefit March of Dimes

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. –
"Live with Regis and Kelly" will make its contribution to the pantheon of world athletic events by presenting the first-ever REGIS AND KELLY'S HIGH HEEL-A-THON, a 150-yard dash in New York City. And it's for a wonderful cause: proceeds will benefit the March of Dimes and its programs to give every baby a healthy start. "Live" also has arranged for a special $50,000 donation in commemoration of the High Heel-a-Thon.

Unlike more run-of the-mill sprints, there's a shocking twist to this event: all participants in the High Heel-A-Thon must wear high-heeled shoes during the competition, with a minimum of a 3-inch heel.

"Live" is partnering with Dr. Scholl’s For Her® to present the event, which will take place in Central Park. The official competition, for which participants will be sprinting for more than $30,000 in prize money and a variety of fun prizes, is open to women only, though men can enter a special honorary race category.

Entrants will not only compete against hundreds of other participants, but also they'll go up against shoe-loving co-host Kelly Ripa herself, who provided inspiration for the event. "Marathon, schmarathon! Completing 26.2 miles in running shoes is nothing -- try spending a full day running errands, taking the kids to school and shopping, all in 4-inch heels," Ripa declared. "THAT'S what I call a real marathon! So our High Heel-A-Thon is a way of showcasing a unique unsung talent for which most women are never recognized."

The March of Dimes extends a warm thank-you to our celebrity volunteers Michael Gelman, executive producer of the program, and wife Laurie Hibberd, whose daughter was born prematurely. Interested participants can register for Regis and Kelly's High Heel-A-Thon by logging on to liveregisandkelly.com or highheelathon.com. The winning competitor will walk away with $25,000, with additional prize money offered to the second- and third-place finishers.
"Live with Regis and Kelly" is executive produced by Michael Gelman, and is distributed by Disney-ABC Domestic Television. Produced by WABC-TV in New York, "Live with Regis and Kelly" airs every weekday morning in more than 200 markets across the country.
The March of Dimes is the leading nonprofit organization for pregnancy and baby health. With chapters nationwide and its premier event, March for Babiessm, the March of Dimes works to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. For the latest resources and information, visit marchofdimes.com or nacersano.org.

Yes, I was once again parked on I-55 for almost a half hour this morning.... a routine I have become well accustomed to. Since I sit there so much, I feel like the interstate is like a second home, and I use it as such..... I bring my breakfast, have a little snack at my make-shift dinning room table/middle console while I am waiting. I bring my make-up and deodorant: the combination of my review mirror and dashboard become like a little bathroom counter, it's great!








Do not judge, I am making good use of this endless downtime...
But, being so comfortable with myself, I often forget I am not in the privacy of my own home. So, today I was adjusting all the goods, finishing my eyeliner, and making my pouty face in the mirror during a final look over. Then, I realized I have been sitting next to a huge truck full of construction workers quite entertained by my show and seeming lack of awareness. At that point I half smiled, shrugged my shoulders, waved my mascara wand at them and moved up the foot and a half I could so we were not directly parallel anymore.... oh well, at least by 8:30 when I finally got to work I was all put together!

I need to completely reorganize my whole life, but started fun and small......

I have begun to classify my unmentionables into “day” and “night” categories.

Why, you ask?

Because there is nothing like sitting at your desk, trying to be professional and those little pink bows are digging into places that little pink bows do not belong….. (sigh) OR, when you are sitting in a meeting and that little metal heart hanging from each string has been creating an indention in your hip for the past twenty minutes and the meeting is not going to end for at least a half hour….. Ouch! It's tough being a stylish chick!

One time I wore a Christmasy thong to work under a skirt (to be completely in the holiday spirit). I honestly could not figure out why I was hearing bells ring all day..... turns out they were coming from my bum! Hmmmmm. So, I "jingled all the way!"

Further organization to come, when I feel like putting forth effort.

Yes, it rained on us......

We found somewhere to stay, and what a great view....!

Little Miss Rorie has been MIA, but with good reason. My best friend from middle school took her vacation to fly down to see me. We were both Oklahoma girls once, mid-western and simply fabulous! But I have now fallen back into the role of a southern belle, pure Mississippi girl and I was very delighted to give her a taste of the "dirty south."

Culture Shock is an appropriate phrase. Poor Annie, I made her try all of the things that were oh so new to me when I first arrived here......

You might be from Oklahoma if: you have never had catfish, turnip greens, craw fish or sweet tea. This may surprise some, but these delicacies are not readily available or a regular part of an Oklahoman's diet. One meal we shared, I realized EVERYTHING was fried. I was used to this, but remembered not everywhere is so "fry" happy! She was a great sport though and very open minded about putting all of these things in her mouth. Even eating part of "the little red thing with eyes!"

During her stay, she only mentioned a couple of times that some people "talked funny." Even I, myself had gained quite an accent. But, I will give it to her, we as a community have a distinct drawl. And Oklahoman's have absolutely no accent at all.

Then, we drove to the beach.... there is a huge lake in Oklahoma with some sand around the edge and I have witnessed people refer to this as the beach. NO! We went to the real beach, Gulf Shores bound!!! ROADTRIP!!!! But that adventure is a whole other story for another day.....

My ring tone for the majority of my friends is "I wear my sunglasses at night." Well at 3:20 am this morning Corey Hart started singing this to me and I was actually aware enough to answer the phone.

"Hello."

"Oh wow, you answered the phone. I'm sorry Jess I was just going to talk to your voicemail. Are you asleep?"

"Well yeah babe, its like 4:00 in the morning. But if you would honestly prefer my voicemail, we can hang up and you talk to it?!"

"No, I am just surprised you answered. Don't be mad I called. I have just had a really bad day and I wanted to see if we could go to lunch tomorrow, I just really need to talk."

This was my best guy friend in the world. We have been best friends for going on seven years, he introduces me to everyone as his sister, and there he was scared I was going to be pissed that he called me just to ask if we could talk soon. But knowing that I can be a bit cold when I first wake up didn't stop him from calling and I am glad. I want to be the friend/big sister that you can call at 3:20 in the morning. I want my friends to know I can be available. I had told him this plenty of times before, and he knew I would always be his DD if he EVER needed me. But I am glad he knew I was there for more than a late night ride, that I am up for being a late night shoulder too.....

Everybody has particular music that they listen to in their times of pure angry rage.... be it heavy metal, hard core rap, whatever aides in the blood boiling moments of furry.

The music that usually accompanies my moods may seem unusual to some, but works quite well for me and my Broadway loving gal pal. There are some musicals out there (our pick: Chicago)just dark and powerful enough to give you the momentary edge you need. You put yourself as the twisted characters and belt out disturbing lyrics such as:


He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!


......but in the end you were just "in character," and all is well. Moods adjust and then you can be closer to that happy place where you're back listening to the softer side, like Michael Buble.