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Many of you may not know, the one, the only- The Rorie, is married to her high school sweetheart, the firefighter. Awwww. yeah yeah. As we have been together for going on seven years (married 2 1/2), sometimes I want to snuggle and other times I would like nothing more than to rip his heart out of his chest, put it on a platter, stick a fork in it and be done! After a couple days of the latter feeling, I have created my rebuttal to Ms. Elizabeth Barrett Browning's oh so famous and highly over-used poem. No worries, I will be better and act the part of the loving wife tomorrow, but for now:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
How do I loathe thee? -Some days this list would be longer.....

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I loathe thee to the depth and breadth and height my patience can not reach when feeling tired and pissy and you will not get out of my sight....which at the time would be ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I loathe thee to the level of every day's most NEED FOR QUIET.....dear Lord, between the fire department pager, the Nintendo Wii and that ridiculous ring tone on your phone, I welcome the quiet!

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I loathe the freely, because I am not sure, Mr., that you ever really "strive for right"....therefore you get no praise.

I love with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I loathe with a passion that you have caused me grief since childhood.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.
I loathe thee with a loathe that I seem to gain with my new found pet peeves, I loathe with the grinding of your teeth when you sleep, the smells, the turn-offs of all of our days! God help me, I shall but be driven crazy because you may annoy me to death.